Farewell Friend

Today back in my hometown, there are a lot of friends and family preparing to go to a funeral. I am too far away and won't be able to attend. I have only been to a handful of funerals in my life, but I find they help me with closure and saying good-bye. Since I am unable to attend today's funeral, I am posting a farewell blog.
This is how I remember Brian. He grew up across the dirt road from my house. He and his sister were our sole neighborhood playmates for years. Very few of my "country kid" memories do not include Brian. He was the youngest. I was the oldest, then my little brother, then Brian's sister Melissa, and then little Brian.

We went on so many imaginary adventures during those growing up years. I have been a wild horse, a cowgirl fighting indians, an indian fighting cowboys, an adventurer running from bad guys, a prairie girl surviving a cold winter and a detector investigating the latest crime against humanity all alongside Brian, Melissa and Danny. Where we lived our imagination was the limit for what adventures we could have. We even had a little Kids Against Pollution environmental club together. :)

Somewhere in a box there is a VHS home video of the four of us. The way I remember it is the three older kids jamming out on our guitars (or plastic tennis rackets...depending on how you looked at it) while we got Brian to sing "Splish Splash". Mostly we liked hearing how he said it. So we would start singing with him and then all stop so he would continue alone...

"Spish spash I was taking a bath......

(putting his little kid hands on his little kid hips and cocking his head to one side to properly get into his reprimanding stance)

.....you guys! You have to sing with me!"

Every time I think of that I can't help but smile or even laugh out loud. :)

As time went on we grew up and went our own ways. I haven't seen Brian in years. I would see his parents sometimes when I went home to visit. My brother sees his parents sometimes through work and our dads work together...but I can't pretend that we were close recently. Through Facebook I had "found" Brian and interacted through the social networking site. Mostly talking about the old times and looking through pictures to see what sort of young man my little blond childhood friend had grown to be.

From what I saw and observed, he appeared to be quite the band geek, which I can appreciate being a band geek myself. There are many who will attest to his soccer skills and his "shredding" on the mountain. I'm not much into winter sports such as skiing and snowboarding, so I don't know proper terms or even which Brian participated in, but he was a shredder according to his current friends. :) He had a smile that you couldn't help but smile back at and a mischievous glow and glitter in his eye.

Brian left us less than a week ago at 22 years old. I don't know details, nor do I need to or want to know. I do know that everyone preparing to go to his funeral today was not expecting to attend his funeral until many many maaany years later. The day I found out I was a mess. Mourning selfishly for myself, mourning as a big sister for his sister, mourning as a parent for his parents. Through the week at the strangest times something would hit me and I would cry for his loss or smile at his memory and the memories of others on his Facebook Memorial page. He is loved and he is missed.

Cecil, Cheryl and Melissa, I will always remember Brian fondly as part of my childhood. While I can't be there to properly say good-bye at his funeral, I am mourning his loss for you and with you from home.

This is my favorite "grown up" picture of Brian:

Farewell, my childhood friend.